I have had moments today where I'm at a loss for direction. The reality that summer ends today, school begins tomorrow, fall is in the air, and soon I can have my own rhythms and patterns again is strange, almost uncomfortable.

When you parent special needs kids, the amount of energy you expend over the course of a summer, with a large majority of it having nothing to do with your personal interests or well being, can turn you into an exhausted heap. The last 4 days or so I've also been pretty sick and sleepless. To imagine long stretches of uninterrupted sleep is just wild.

I love my family, don't ever misunderstand that. But there is something to be said, though, for finding balance from within... something that is uniquely mine, alone.

Oh... AND CONTAINS QUIET.

So I hope it wraps back around to a familiar feeling again... a feeling that isn't tied up in guilt for wanting time for myself. I may be a mother, but I am also a person. And that person needs a serious break.

Happy Back-To-School to all the exhausted special needs parents everywhere, and God bless the special needs teachers!

Things To Remember Before Joining A Social Media Cult

Don't twist yourself up into something you are never allowed to voice an opinion on.

Don't involve yourself in something where you were never wanted (even if you have a right to be involved).  

Empathy & giving of your whole heart is not enough for some.

Step away when your needs are not being met, especially if every other person seems to think that's just fine.

Always remember that truly loving people WILL appreciate you for exactly who YOU are.... NO EXCEPTIONS!

And at the end of the day, there's always another social media cult.

* cheers *

When You #FeelTheBern While Reading Lars Larson Comments On FB

America has turned into a money slumped sludged-out shit-hole with the decline and evaporation of the middle class. You can be college educated and employers still want to only pay $10 an hour, few if any raises, and little to no benefits. No one can even pay for rent and food for that let alone their student loan bills, so tell me about this great nation America? 

And if you are a service woman, you come back with a leg missing from a some war Bush sent you to, defending God knows what, but you signed up because you love your country and you are a proud American, but what do the Republicans do? They deny you Vet benefits and then blame it on Obama! As if Vets can't see clearly what the truth is? Not every Vet is a Republican robot who accepts "trickle down Reaganomics" as something that ACTUALLY worked for America. 

BECAUSE IT DIDN'T.

Jackholes like Lars Larson get on air and run their mouths every day, talking about how people just need to just "get a better job" if they want more money, or because men "work harder" they "deserve" more money than women so they shouldn't have a problem with being paid 30 cents less or whatever. It's never that simple. The working class know it, the educated folks know it, so why pretend that it is?

The state we are in is a direct result of Reagan deregulating everything (including the media, so stations no longer have to give you ACTUAL balanced media coverage of an issue, and can now present one-sided political & socio-economic reporting like never before), closing everything (like state mental hospitals that provided safe spaces for the mentally ill & helped keep dangerous folks off the streets), also lots of no new taxing everything to appease the base, and giving the rich corporate heads tax breaks beyond their wildest dreams as "job creators" creating an 80's bubble that guess what?... popped right in the lap of oil barrel obsessed Saddam rival Bush 41. Fun times were over :(

Then Bill comes in.... America gets a new jolt of possibility... the high crest of the Clinton years comes with a balanced budget but we also get NAFTA "most favored nation" BS with China, and all those rich assholes left over from Reagan's day close up shop and move American businesses overseas FOR GOOD. We also see the rise of nutcases like Rush Limbaugh being "held hostage" until guess what? A stolen election for Bush 43! Then 9/11, two convenient wars, and then the ROCK BOTTOM attained by Wall Street greedy whores riding bareback on Dubya and the Sith Lord. But to the GOP, it's all #ThanksObama , right?

The world is so simple without a single shade of grey when you sit behind a microphone and have your producer circle the latest Fox News talking points for you to address, you know?

There is a lot to be thankful for. Make it the center of EVERYTHING.

Poem for Ryan Adams' Photo

There it flew The hovered saints It said my name The sky felt blue And clouds belong In feather slips refrain

She slept inside a strawberry
Alone and kept on her own
You took big bites each day until
Juicy red flesh collapsed upon her.

Tonight's three minute poem written in response to a FB status update:

Stu Carpenter --

Lions, soldiers, unborn babies, and black motorist... God made them, while we create a hierarchy of who deserves more sympathy. These tragic losses point out differences where empathy could go.

Laurie Kruczek --

They all go to sweet pillow clouds Lofty dream spaces on horizons pinked and peached The daily reminders that destiny is an unmarked destination cultivated by culture, created by domestication We drift, despite the windless, mindlessness of predestination, dividing ourselves between today and a thinner atmosphere Do you want every question answered or do you want the magic, miracles, and surprise of another day?